
Your very first dildo was probably the only thing you could afford at the time, which left you with a probable case of "WTF" after several years of average satisfaction.
I feel your pain, brothers and sisters.
The wide and wacky world of dildos is far too vast for anyone to navigate alone. We all need to stick together on this one, lest we fall victim once again to the old sex toys.
On the other hand, choosing a new dildo is not always easy. Not only are there many obvious choices, but the new products on the market have generated a lot of debate and curiosity.
With features that run counter to the latest technology and ergonomics that rival those of luxury mattresses, today's dildos are nothing like those of the past.
Honestly, we should be much more grateful for that.
Tips to help you choose the best dildo
In those days, men and women had to get a prescription from their doctor before they could get a decent dildo.
Before that, people made their pleasure sticks out of household items like socks, rubber gloves and vegetables. And before that there were people who made dildos out of stone, chalk and old bread.
So while we have come a long way in terms of improving materials and design, our culture has yet to catch up with the latest developments from dildo manufacturers.
These innovative products are not ordinary synthetic penises either.
Created to satisfy all tastes (even the most perverse or twisted), contemporary dildos straddle the line between medical-grade marital aids and fantastic novelty items.
Depending on the user's wishes, needs and budget, a good modern dildo can be fully customised, just like your father's old hotrod.
And while choosing between options can be difficult, that's only half the battle.
It is also important to understand yourself as a buyer. Here are some things you should consider before looking at your first dildo:
Your reasoning
Why are you looking for a new dildo? Does your old dildo no longer fit? Has your current device seen better days? Or are you one of the lucky ones who have just discovered the wonders of a great synthetic cock?
Whatever category you fall into, it's essential to know what you need in a good dildo. Otherwise, you'll end up getting caught up in something that doesn't suit you (in the worst possible way).
Know your reasoning like the back of your hand. If you want something extremely realistic, settle for nothing less. If you're looking for a dildo with extra features, hold out until you find it.
There is literally something for everyone, so it's time to be patient and diligent. Read product reviews to find out if the dildo you're considering is really worth it, if you know what I mean.
Your skin type
They say that beauty is only skin deep, but apparently so is pleasure. Because the human body is a delicate thing, dildo makers have not been able to create a material that is perfect for all known skin types.
And while silicone is generally considered safe for all users, it still poses some problems because of its incompatibility with certain types of lubricants. It's always something, isn't it?
Knowing your skin type can help you avoid irritations, rashes and allergic reactions that could be embarrassing, painful or even fatal. It's one thing to go to the emergency room because you used a sex toy It is one thing to be reckless, it is another to organise a funeral for this toy.
Most cases are not as serious, but you know what I mean. It is important to know yourself better than to know a manufacturer of sex toys. In addition, the materials from which your dildo is made will determine how easy it is to clean and maintain.
Your budget
Your budget is going to play a big part in your choice of dildo. With prices varying widely and special cost considerations that we haven't discussed yet, I'm not sure the dollar you have on hand will stretch as far as you'd like. I'll keep my fingers crossed and try to steer you to the right products in the meantime.
But like everything else in life, you get what you pay for.
If you're extremely lucky, you can sometimes get a good deal when you least expect it. And as luck would have it, some dildo manufacturers offer secret discounts, discount codes and seasonal sales throughout the year.
Keep your eyes open, soldier.
In the meantime, follow me.
My Top 10 best dildos for women in 2023:
What you have just learned should be enough to get you a master's degree in sex toys.
I have no idea what you will encounter on your journey of discovery of the dildo, but I can tell you this: No one will ever be able to step on your toes again.
So go ahead and throw that delirious dildo in the trash where it belongs. Go out and up your masturbation game.
You're only a few steps away from getting the best thing since sliced bread.
#1. The Fun Factory Stronic Real - Best overall dildo for women
THE BEST FOR INSTANT INTIMATE INTENSITY
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- USB rechargeable
- Skin-friendly materials
The Fun Factory Stronic Real is a powerful push dong with a realistic shaft and tapered tip. But what's most interesting is its seven-speed motor and triple range of vibration patterns to explore.
Enjoy the precision pulses of this larger-than-life device, with an insertion length of 5.5 inches.
The slightly curved head allows better contact with your G or P spot. The delicate details create a true-to-life sensation with every thrust.
There's even a travel lock function to experience quiet, discreet sex on the move.
PRO : The powerful battery gives you over two hours of play time on each full charge.
CONThis toy is not safe for people with pacemakers.
#2. The vibrating dildo rabbit LELO Soraya 2
THE BEST FOR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- USB rechargeable
- Skin-friendly materials
La marque LELO est connue pour ses sex toys économiques mais luxueux. Leur nouveau et amélioré Soraya 2 ne fait pas exception.
It offers dual stimulation with a rounded shaft for comfortable insertion, and a pair of flexible rabbit ears for clitoral massage.
Meanwhile, you can freely explore the twelve settings that adjust to help you personalise each experience. And this device is so revolutionary that the manufacturer offers an unprecedented 10-year warranty on all parts.
I love you for a long time, but not just because of the four-hour battery life.
PRO : You get a silky storage bag and an integrated travel lock for added discretion.
CONIt takes a few hours for this powerful machine to fully recharge after the battery has run out.
#3. The Vixen Johnny VixSkin Realistic Dong 7 inch
THE BEST FOR THE REAL THING
QUICK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- No electricity required
- Skin-friendly materials
Realistic details, realistic ergonomics and a whimsical design. These three elements combine to create the Vixen Johnny VixSkin realistic dildo.
Made of silky smooth platinum silicone and mounted on a non-slip base, this dildo is also compatible with a harness.
Enjoy hours of intimate internal stimulation with its solid inner core that mimics a real erection. And enjoy the beauty of its textured, bulbous balls and gently curved shaft.
You have seven sexy inches to explore, so make each one count.
PRO : Thanks to its versatile design, this machine is perfect for quilting.
CON : You need a separate 1.75 inch O-ring to attach this toy to a harness.
#4. The Fun Factory G5 Big Boss vibrating dildo for women
THE BEST FOR LARGE AND RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- USB rechargeable
- Skin-friendly materials
Tonight, go big or go home. The G5 Big Boss from Fun Factory can help you do both. It's a large, realistic dildo with a G-spot vibrator in the shell.
Underneath the curved shaft and bulbous head is a powerful motor that offers five intense speed settings and four distinct patterns for your enjoyment.
This seven-inch feel gives you more control over the experience, with a convenient finger loop on the handle.
And the clever placement of the buttons on the bottom makes this monstrosity even easier to enjoy (partner not included).
PRO : With each full charge, you get over two hours of non-stop play.
CONThe tree may be too flexible for some users.
#5. The greedy girl from Fifty Shades of Grey pushing the bunny dildo.
THE BEST FOR KINK COLLECTORS
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- USB rechargeable
- Skin-friendly materials
Fifty Shades fans unite! This luxurious vibrating dildo offers more than just a recognisable name. It has a powerful thrusting motor that gives you indulgent pleasure in every nook and cranny.
In addition, this same motor allows a dozen vibration settings and three variable speeds.
Just press a button to control the attraction, and don't forget to play with the rabbits.
You can enjoy extreme eroticism with or without the extra pleasure settings in play. And every orgasm you experience comes with the approval of E.L. James herself.
PRO : This ultra-powerful dong features a quiet motor and a travel lock for added discretion.
CONThe battery gives you just under an hour to explore the possibilities.
#6. Electra Stim Bi-Polar Metal Dildo ElectroSex Wave
THE BEST FOR DEEPER PLEASURES
QUICK STATS :
- Not waterproof
- Power supply
- Phthalate-free
Nothing is more exciting than a little shock. And that's exactly what you'll get with the Electra Stim Bi-Polar ElectroSex wave dildo.
It is a corrugated metal rod that conducts electricity from the power box to your body. And because it is the perfect size, you can use the dildo for vaginal or anal penetration.
Simply plug the stick into the Electra Stim unit (sold separately) and enjoy a tango of electrical impulses and intrigue, tailored to the temperature.
Then set the box to pulse for a strange but familiar sensation.
PRO : The unique shape allows you to go down with or without the Electra Stim power box.
CONYou cannot enjoy nipple play with this device as it is too dangerous.
#7. The Vixen Mustang Realistic suction dildo for women.
THE BEST FOR PEGGING WITH A GOAL
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- No electricity required
- Skin-friendly materials
We don't deserve a sex toy this good, but we can still have one. The Vixen Mustang Realistic Suction Cup Dildo offers dual density stimulation and ergonomic dimensions to provide pleasure.
This ultra-realistic dildo features a pronounced head and realistic details to produce those familiar sensations. And unlike similar devices, this one has a suction cup on the bottom.
This means easier and safer pegging sessions and better control for your partner.
So take the 6.5 inches to the dome and don't forget the lubricant. You'll need it with a 5-inch circumference like this.
PRO : Because of its shape and size, this device is perfect for vaginal or anal sex.
CONYou must purchase a separate 1.5 inch O-ring to attach this device to a harness.
#8. The King Cock Mega Girthy Ultra Realistic Suction Cup Dildo (14-Inch)
THE BEST FOR PUSHING THE LIMITS
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- No electricity required
- Skin-friendly materials
The name of the King Cock Mega Girthy Ultra Realistic Suction Dildo says it all. It is a massive silicone dildo with bulky features and a 14 inch shaft.
Along the synthetic bone are realistic details such as veins and curves. At the bottom, you will find a pair of textured balls and a tool for precision fixing.
Enjoy surprisingly easy handling for such a monster. With enough lube and practice, the King could be perfect for over-the-top satisfaction during vaginal or anal penetration.
Challenge: Accepted.
PROThe suction cup, although huge, is surprisingly durable.
CONThe flexible shaft can make insertion and removal more difficult.
#9. The nJoy Pure Wand
THE BEST FOR SIMPLE PLEASURES
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- Reactive to temperature
- Skin-friendly materials
This solid steel G-spot dildo is exceptional in many ways. Not only does it have temperature sensitive materials, but it also bends to target the G-spot or P-spot in any position.
Give yourself a great internal massage with this double-ended dildo, which has two different heads for versatile play.
The C-shaped handle allows for better control, and the weighted design helps you feel the pleasure in your deepest nerve endings.
In addition, you have a 10-inch insertion length and a 5.5-inch circumference to share.
Good luck!
PRO : This is a great gift for your romantic partner with its elegant presentation box.
CONThe ruthlessness may not be what some people prefer.
#10. The Vixen Outlaw VixSkin realistic 9 inch Dong
THE BEST FOR MULTIPLAYER SCENARIOS
QUCK STATS :
- 100% waterproof
- No electricity required
- Skin-friendly materials
What happens between two lovers? The Vixen Outlaw VixSkin Realistic 9-Inch Dong is your answer.
This is an extra-large dildo for vaginal and anal penetration and it does not play favorites. The shaft is cleverly textured to mimic real human features.
The bulbous head and rounded balls contribute to the realism of each push.
This ultra-versatile toy glides and slides while you hold on to its handy flared base. You can also attach it to a harness for hands-free play.
Remember, there are no rules when you are an outlaw.
PRO : Its simple design makes it perfect for beginners and professionals alike.
CONYou must use a specific cleaning solution to prevent the materials from becoming deformed.
BONUS: The Clone-a-Willy dildo making kit
THE MOST CUSTOMISABLE
Want to get straight to the point and mould your favourite lover's penis? Now you can, with Clone-a-Willy. I swear on all that is holy that this is a real product and that it turns into a pretty impressive dildo (if your inspiration is enough, of course).
The kit comes with everything you need to mould the perfect cock in the comfort of your own home, including dyes, a small sample of lube and even a removable vibrator to place inside the dildo once it's ready.
Made with hypoallergenic, plant-based ingredients, it is ready to use immediately and super easy to clean/maintain.
PRO: Like snowflakes, no two Clone-a-Willy dildos are the same (which also means you can make several different types of dildos if that's your thing).
CON: If you don't follow the instructions to the letter, you may end up with a lot of damage to your arms.
Why use a dildo?
Dildos are cool because, well, they're realistic or fantasy penises that aren't detached from any semblance of a human body. I know how scary and uninviting that can seem to some people, but for the rest of us, we understand the value.
Think back to the last time you wanted to coyote your way out of bed and you'll understand why dildos are so ubiquitous.
You see, a good dildo can do a real and tangible service to those who use it properly. Contrary to popular belief, dildos aren't exclusively for singles or people who want to blow off steam in their basement with an industrial-sized barrel of lube and a nudie magazine.
Today's dildos are a whole new breed - sophisticated and elegant social butterflies on a mission of flesh and blood. I, for one, admire their bravery.
I've seen well-made dildos save boring marriages, prevent infidelity, keep the flame alive in a long-distance relationship, and help solve problems of stamina or endurance (sometimes simultaneously).
Dildos have the ability to gently open people's sexual shells by being familiar enough to induce a sense of comfort and erotically practical enough to induce a sense of extreme pleasure. It doesn't get much better than that, ladies and gentlemen. Can I get a round of applause?
Like all great legends, dildos know exactly what we want and are there to give it to us when we need it. Whether you like dildos big or small, thick or thin, realistic or fancy, there's bound to be something to suit you.
The hardest part is knowing whether or not the dildo you're considering is worth the money. You don't want to rain on the dildo makers like they are strippers.
Top 5 ways to know if that dildo is worth it or not.
Buying a dildo is supposed to be fun and exciting, not frustrating and exhausting.
However, the marketers behind all the ads and promotions are smart enough to know that you'll keep looking even if you don't find what you want, especially if you're serious about buying a new toy.
They also know that you will eventually give in and buy something if they insist.
You don't have to put up with this kind of attitude. Your time, money and satisfaction should be treated as valuable commodities in a market where demand is high but supply is low.
Here's how to get around all that useless junk to find a dildo that will really do the trick.
Consider the following 5 factors:
Dimension
Size is one of the most important factors to consider when choosing a new dildo, or any other sex toy.
Today's dildos are available in a wide variety of sizes, from small to large and everything in between.
Depending on what you intend to do with yours, the size of the dildo will determine how successful you are with it.
In other words, check the dimensions before you buy.
The total length of a dildo is determined by measuring the distance between the end and the bottom of the balls.
The insertion length, on the other hand, is determined by measuring the distance from the tip to the bottom of the stem.
Both measurements are important, as one affects discretion and the other affects pleasure. Choose wisely by starting with a small size if you are unsure how your body will react to a large dildo.
Design
Are you looking for a realistic dildo or something a little more discreet? Would you prefer your new dildo to have balls or just a handle?
The design of your toy will affect many things, including, but not always, the following:
- Its shape
- its size
- its characteristics
- its safety
- its effectiveness
- Its appearance
- Its ease of use
- Its storage possibilities
Choosing your next dildo based on its overall design is probably a good idea, but only if you take all other factors into account.
Modern dildo manufacturers are constantly pushing the boundaries to develop innovative products, which means that some of the items on offer are dubious and experimental at best.
Be discerning and try to be realistic with yourself.0
Handicrafts
If you're like me, you're likely to look at the extra features of a dildo when shopping because, quite frankly, that's the most interesting and enjoyable part. And while sex toys are designed to provide pleasure, there is more to buying them than just fun.
At some point you will have to get down to business and consider the build quality.
In the case of dildos, the quality of the workmanship relates to the materials from which the product is made.
Common materials for dildos are
- Silicone
- Cyberskin
- TPE
- Polycarbonate
- Latex
- Glass
- Stainless steel dildos
Each material has its own advantages and disadvantages. So try to understand the different properties before making your choice.
Features
Understand that no two dildos are the same, even models that look the same or have the same basic properties. The features offered will tell you a lot about the quality of the product you are holding in your hands.
For example, good dildos always have the following three characteristics:
- Skin-friendly materials
- ergonomic handles or shapes
- A soft and/or smooth surface, free of snags.
So, while you can find several options on the market, dildos worth their salt have a lot in common and should be recognizable to you. Upgrade things a bit by choosing a dildo with some extra bells and whistles like squirting capabilities, vibrations or realistic attributes.
The pleasure is endless when you have a well-made fake cock in your hands, and no one can argue with that.
Manufacturer
A small remark about the manufacturer. Many of them have earned their reputation in the market by being clever and sleazy, but not all of them.
Some of them are really legitimate, and it is up to you to spot the wolves in sheep's clothing.
Look for things like positive reviews, availability of customer service, quality and/or money-back guarantees, free samples, etc.
This is about the only way to distinguish winners from losers these days.
Where to find the best dildos on the market:
LOVEHONEY - Our most recommended online sex toy shop, offering the best prices and fastest, most discreet delivery on the internet.
The end of the game
Finding the right dildo doesn't have to be as difficult as you make it.
In fact, the hardest part should be the sex toy you are about to buy. It doesn't matter if the product isn't perfect, because nothing in the world is and that expectation is absurd.
What matters most is that all the features come together to create an enjoyable experience for you and your partner(s) (hopefully more than once).
If that requires a realistic 8 inch dildo with squirting capabilities and a suction cup base, then so be it.
You are there to win. If you are not the first, you are the last (or something like that).
FAQ about dildos for women
How to choose the best dildo for your body and your relationship?
The best personal toy depends on your desires, abilities and opinions. But don't forget to ask your partner what he or she thinks too.
High quality pleasure products can strengthen your relationship and improve your performance in bed.
So choose something exciting and easy to use. If you are a novice, start with a simple device with few features.
Then move on to more complex toys as you learn the ropes.
How do I clean an insertable sex toy?
Cleaning up your sex stash is not as difficult as you think.
Most devices are easy to maintain or fully submersible in water. But always consult your user manual for specific information. You may need to take special measures to wash, dry and store your appliance.
In general, you can maintain your toys with a quick bath in hot water.
Use non-abrasive, hypoallergenic sex toy cleaners to wash the surface. And don't forget to scrub the nooks and crannies if your device has a texture.
Then let your toys air dry before putting them back.
Is there a specific way to store a personal pleasure device?
You can store your items in several ways.
However, most people choose to store their personal pleasure products in a bedside drawer, medicine cabinet or wardrobe.
In any case, always cover your device to avoid bacteria and other airborne debris. And never leave your toys in direct sunlight, as heat and UV rays can damage the materials.
Also, store electronic devices away from extremely hot or cold temperatures to avoid mechanical failure.
Can I hurt myself by masturbating with a dildo?
If you are not careful and ignore the warnings in the user manual, you can get hurt playing with a sex toy. This is because personal pleasure products act like real human genitals.
You should therefore keep them clean and protect them from the weather.
In addition, rough sex can lead to serious injury. Therefore, be careful when playing with metal pushing devices and dongs.
Also pay attention to the materials of the toy. You may suffer an allergic reaction if the materials are incompatible with your skin type.
Do dongs have a guarantee?
Some personal pleasure devices come with a manufacturer's warranty. Others may also include an additional retailer's warranty.
However, this is not always the case. You should check the box, the website or the owner's manual for more information.
In the meantime, coverage usually includes repair and replacement of various parts. But user negligence is not on the list.
You are only reimbursed for manufacturing defects and mechanical malfunctions. And most manufacturer's warranties are only valid for one year.
How do I register a sex toy warranty?
Registering your new dong warranty is easy.
First, consult the user manual for more information. You will usually find a registration card in the box with step-by-step instructions.
If not, go to the manufacturer's website. And don't forget that some devices are automatically registered by the retailer when you buy them.
Also keep your receipts. Many retailers and manufacturers require you to register your device within 30 days of purchase.
Can a vaginal dildo be used for anal sex?
Feel free to switch from vaginal to anal sex using the same device. But don't forget to wash the surface and handle thoroughly before changing holes.
This is because the anus contains dozens of harmful bacteria that could cause an infection if they enter the vagina.
Most sexual health experts therefore suggest buying two separate toys for vaginal and anal penetration.
In any case, try to use antibacterial sex toy cleaning products to ensure maximum cleanliness.
What type of lubricant is best for dildos?
The best personal lubricant for dildos is always water-based. Other types of lubricants may or may not be compatible with the materials of your toy.
In addition, water-based lubricants are gentle on the skin. They are also easy to wash off, do not stain fabrics and last a long time. You can use oil-based products on some toys and silicone-based lubricants on others.
However, always consult the owner's manual for specific information. And never combine a silicone sex toy with a silicone-based lubricant, as you will damage the outside.
Do I need any equipment or skills to play with a dong?
You don't need any special equipment or skills to please yourself or a partner with a dildo.
However, it is advisable to stock up on lubricants and sex toy cleaning products to stay safe.
In the meantime, find out if your device is compatible with a sling, whether it can be mounted or not.
If so, gather your supplies in advance to avoid unwanted breaks. And don't forget to ask your partner what they want. Then try to incorporate these items into your next session.
What is the difference between a dildo and a vibrator?
The difference between a dildo and a vibrator is simple. It comes down to a tiny motor inside the handle.
Dildos penetrate the user's body to target specific erogenous zones and mimic realistic sex. But vibrators go even further. They also penetrate the body for pleasure, but their additional functions allow them to massage the G-spot or P-spot for more intense orgasms.
In the meantime, you can usually mount the dildos or use them in the shower because they are submersible in water. But many vibrators are not waterproof, so you can't get as kinky with them.
To learn more about how the two compare, choose a few examples and examine their differences.