Finding the best wanking device on the market is a huge task. With all the options available, finding the perfect toy seems impossible.
Fortunately, it's not as complicated as you might think. But what's new?
All it takes is a little determination and even some diligence to discover a sex toy that fits the bill. Most of the time, however, you'll end up spending a lot of money no matter what you buy.
So do yourself a favour and use some common sense so you don't waste your hard-earned money on a crappy device that doesn't do what you want.
Are you looking for a good electrical hand-job device but don't know where to start?
You are not alone. In my experience, most guys have no idea what to buy and just wing it until they find something worthwhile. If you want to keep doing things like this, be my guest.
But if you are ready to treat yourself without breaking the bank, read on.
School is in session: Types of wanking devices
It is important to consider your options before spending your money as there are tons of unscrupulous manufacturers out there just waiting to steal your stash.
So, while homework is bullshit, you can't really get around it this time. Your only other option is to aimlessly scour the internet in your spare time, anxiously searching different websites to compare features and prices. Nobody has time for that.
Instead of going through this mess, why not check out this handy wank machine buying guide to get the most bang for your buck, Chuck?
I promise you that by the end of this, you'll be ready to buy a dick machine with absolute confidence:
Know what to expect
You may be good at beating your own meat, but that doesn't automatically make you an expert in hands-free pleasure. Knowing what one is will certainly help, and it doesn't hurt to understand the subtle differences between a self-masturbator and a sucker.
Although they look and work alike, each one has its own unique feel.
Here is a concise description of what I am talking about:
In most cases, the sucking machines are designed to be automatic, but this is not always the case.
In addition, blowjob machines are designed to simulate the sensations of oral sex, not just hard fucking. Twisting, sucking and tickling of the cock and balls are a must, not to mention the different levels of suction and control methods that are (usually) customisable by the user.
Many models also feature visually striking openings - openings that resemble plush lips and deft tongues - and some of the new devices can also be used with flesh lights.
Automatic masturbators are slightly different in their operation, but the pleasure they provide is often just as intense.
By jerking you off without the need for any manpower, these hands-free masturbators have channels of varying textures, each designed to mimic the physiology of a vagina or anus. Sometimes referred to as "vagina simulators sex' or 'machines These toys are designed to look and feel like genitals rather than mouths.
I told you that the differences were subtle, but if I hadn't bothered to mention them, some of you would have ended up buying the wrong thing.
I'm not trying to make enemies here. I see it as a public service announcement. And my mother said I'd never be any use to anyone. I showed her.
Consider the cost
Although price is not the most important factor, some men place great importance on it because they prefer not to waste money. One thing to keep in mind when looking for automatic blowjob machines or auto-strokers: they are usually not cheap. The good news is that some of them come with samples of lubricant and/or cleaning products included.
However, this is usually only the case for large manufacturers who can afford to offer them for free.
Look for sales and discounts wherever you can. While some manufacturers offer bonuses when you buy from their official website, it is possible to get a great deal through a third-party seller if you have contacts.
Here are some of the best discount codes and coupons for your sex toys preferred.
Characteristics of the most common jerk-off machine:
Before you start throwing your money around as if you had it, take the time to learn a little more about the different features available. It pays to know what your options are. Limit the amount of crap you encounter by never judging a book by its cover.
But check the box, the brand and the bragging rights, because these things matter, whether you like it or not.
To make it easier for you, I've listed the top five things to consider when looking for a good hands-free electric sex toy:
The materials it is made of
Be aware of the types of materials used by the manufacturer of a toy. Not only is every material unique, but some can cause skin irritation and/or allergic reactions.
If you can afford it, always opt for medical grade or skin safe silicone as it is the safest material for all skin types and can be used with water based lubricants.
You'll probably find a lot of latex, polycarbonate and TPE based devices. But avoid materials that contain phthalates; everyone knows that shit is poisonous.
This is a particularly important observation to make about soft toys, as phthalates are often used by the manufacturer to improve the softness of the product.
The texture of its channel
They say it's what's on the inside that counts, but the surface of your sex toys is essential. We're talking about the texture of your masturbator's channel - bumps, bulges, nodules, pimples. All of this matters and should be considered carefully.
In the meantime, look for features such as removable sleeves, interchangeable channels and extreme or specialised accessories to further enhance your experience.
As a general rule, the more complex the texture, the better the sensation. However, this is not the case for all men. Every cock is delicately unique, so get to know yourself before choosing a toy based on its texture.
Some may make you ejaculate more quickly than others. Others may feel like teeth scraping along the shaft of your penis. Either way, don't be the idiot who buys a toy because it looks good only to find out later that it's crap.
The functionality of the toy
Cranking requires a lot of effort from a man, which is why it is important to find a good automatic masturbator or sucking machine. Such devices improve the quality of his life and increase the ease with which he pleases himself.
In other words, the functionality of a sex toy is crucial. Whether the toy is manual or automatic makes a big difference.
Remember that some toys are a bit of both - manual and automatic. Hybrid devices pump automatically but require manual adjustments of suction power via different modes.
Although it may seem impractical, these functions greatly increase the customisation variables and can be a lot of fun when you learn to use them properly.
NOTE: The functionality of a toy also plays an important role in the possibility of using it during a couple game.
The bells and whistles of the automatic handjob machines:
Speaking of functionality, you have to go a step further to get a real sense of a toy's value. While it may be highly textured and/or hybridized, the features of a device can be terrible.
What good is an automatic masturbator or a sucking machine with a sweet channel if you don't know how to use it?
The variety of features available on the market today is ridiculous, especially in the category of wanking devices. High tech and high quality, the cream of the crop offers things like:
Pornographic content in virtual reality
compatibility with virtual reality glasses
pulsed and/or undulating vibration patterns
Some can be synchronised with music
Programmable speed and/or vibration settings
Adjustable suction panels
Downloadable applications for smart devices
Indeed, the male sex toy industry has finally caught up. While most toys don't offer all the bells and whistles on this list, some do. You heard me, it's now possible to have it all (if you know where to look and have enough money).
The size of the penis that a wanking device can accommodate
No matter what anyone tells you, the size of your cock matters more than most people think. This is especially true when it comes to the sex toys you use. Manual and automatic masturbators come in all shapes and sizes, so proceed with caution.
Remember that the total size of your device is not the same as the insertion length or circumference.
The insertion length of your toy determines how far you can push without hitting the bottom. Some toys are designed for strictly coronal stimulation, while others are good for rubbing over the entire shaft. Depending on what you want, the relative size of the device will be important.
After considering all of the above, finding the perfect masturbator or blow job should be easier than ever.
If it's not, I'm sorry. My mother said I would never be of any use to anyone.
10 things the manufacturer never tells you about automatic wank machines
What I can do is warn you about the little tricks manufacturers and marketers use to throw off the unsuspecting consumer, especially the horny one with an open wallet. As vulnerable as you and your cock may be, it is vital that you both understand the following.
Below are the top 10 facts that wank machine manufacturers don't want you to know:
1) When using a Bluetooth enabled toy or virtual reality, you must wear the right VR glasses and the quality of the Bluetooth connection is critical to the experience you will (or will not) have.
2)So far, programmable speed settings are only available on automatic sucking machines.
3)Although a toy with multiple vibration settings may bode well in a marketing campaign, such a feature is not suitable for automatic sucking machines as it greatly reduces realism.
4) Motion sensing technology (SenseMotion) has a habit of turning machines on and off based on what would otherwise be considered natural body movement - not cool when you've finally found your rhythm.
5) The ability to sync to music is a nice feature, but only if the songs are well chosen. Also, rapid masturbation can force you to listen to shitty music, which can ruin the mood in no time.
6) Adjustable suction panels are a good thing, but they all work differently, some being much easier to use than others. Also, they all require strength, coordination and willpower, but lazy masturbation is generally preferred to anything manual.
7) Remote controls come in both wired and wireless forms, so beware of the buyer. Even if the toy itself is rechargeable, you may need to buy batteries to operate the controls.
8) Downloadable applications are only worth using if you have a decent smart device and a reliable internet connection or lots of data.
9) Rechargeable or not, the power source of your toy is an important feature that is rarely mentioned in a clever marketing campaign. Check whether yours is electric or battery powered.
NOTE: Most battery operated masturbators require a large number of batteries and run out of power quickly.
10)Many masturbators and sucking machines are compatible with other toys and/or accessories, even outside their own brand.
The last word
Who says you can't have fun looking for your next sex toy?
Masturbation is fun, and buying one can be too. But before you swipe your credit card or empty your bank account, memorize the information found here so you can properly empty your balls.
No one is going to scrutinise your decision, but they might scrutinise your logic if you don't use your resources.