When we were little kids, most of us would hop on the swing set at recess to sway back and forth in blissful innocence until someone blew the whistle.
At some point, we all god jobs and mortgages and fell into relationships that made us forget all about innocent musings.
Our perverted minds began craving more corrupt things, but that didn?t mean we suddenly hated swinging.
In fact, many of us have found a way to bring the playground into our lives again.
We call them ?sex slings? now, but the concept is still the same ? strap in, hang on, and float in the air with minimal gravitational pull while you do tricks and hand out treats.
It?s much dirtier this time, but you?re free to go as high as you want and you don?t have to stop when you hear the whistle anymore.
What Is a Sex Sling?
A sling for sex is exactly what you think it is. This apparatus is used to suspend someone in the air while they enjoy foreplay, masturbation, and/or intercourse.
It?s ideal for people who have trouble achieving difficult positions but it?s also great for folks who can.
In fact, they come highly recommended by 9 out of 10 perverts because of their versatility and convenience.
Imagine sitting securely in a sling, your hands and feet tied up and positioned away from your body in a spread-eagle type of pose. Here comes your partner with a buzzing vibrator in their hand, ready to give dish out exactly what you deserve.
There?s nothing you can go about it either, plus your partner can attack your genitals from any direction. Do you really think you can hold back an orgasm under those conditions? Probably not.
And that?s what these things are all about. They?re designed to help you give and receive intense pleasure from 360 degrees.
In some cases, the device only allows for limited angular access.
However, even those models make it easier to experiment with positions without getting hurt.
So, it?s basically a survival skill to use one and no sex pillow could ever say that.
How Does a Sex Sling Work?
Swings and slings for imaginative sex are two very good things. But that means you must learn how to use them before your partner has a chance to ask what they are or wonder why you don?t already have one.
In most cases, they?re relatively simple contraptions that require minimal skills and equipment to set up.
Still, there are a few more complicated models, and for that reason, we have to go over the basics.
Sex slings and swings work in a variety of ways, but most of them are designed to get hung in your doorway or from the ceiling in your house using a semi-permanent metal bracket.
But because they can support so much weight from a one tiny screw hook, most of them can?t be suspended in a home with weak rafters. And since all people want to get it on, specialized wall-hung slings have been designed to give those folks a taste of the sweet stuff too.
NOTE: No two models are made the same, so be sure to read the instructions to determine the proper installation procedure and double-check weight limits.
The Main Features
Although each option is different, and despite there being plenty of them to choose from, erotica devices in this category all share a few common characteristics.
And while it?s still important to look for subtle differences and match those variables to your desires, it?s also crucial to recognize the following features as mandatory:
Soft, Skin-Safe Fabrics
Good sex can take a great amount of time, which means anything that touches your skin must be gentle and hypoallergenic.
So, get pictures of rough ropes and metal rods out of your head. It?s all about skin-safe stuff these days like nylon, patent leather, and PVC.
Plus, some of them also have satin, silk, and padding to make things even more enjoyable.
Wrist and Ankle Restraints
This is an important part of any sex swing or sling. Ankle and wrist restraints help keep flailing hands and feet at bay while also enhancing the experience and adding some kink into the mix.
It?s fair to say that you won?t use them every time you play, but they?re available on the legit models just in case.
People aren?t all the same, so they need sex toys that give them several options. That?s where the adjustable straps come in handy ? no pun intended.
With them, you can suspend numerous partners without making anyone uncomfortable.
Then, you can enforce different levels of pain or restriction if someone wants to get freaky.
If it doesn?t let you hang it from the doorway or wall, is it even legit? The answer is no. It doesn?t matter whether you get 360-degree crotch shots or not, the point is to keep those feet off of the floor.
providing safe suspension in some way, partners can titillate hard-to-reach places and stay out of the ER at the same time.
Keep in mind that some models may offer more features or come with fewer bells and whistles. Don?t just look at the box or read reviews.
Think about your sex life, your house, and your partner?s needs because sex slings and swings aren?t for everybody.
The Pros & Cons
Owning one of these things is a big responsibility.
First and foremost, you have to decide whether you?re going to hang it in the middle of the living room or not. I know it sounds tempting but hear me out.
These are the things you need to consider before buying a sling for sex.
There?s virtually no limit to the nasty things you can try.
Sex suspension devices may be safer than pillows and other furniture.
Heavy-set people finally enjoy tricky positions with confidence.
You can put it up and take it down at your leisure (usually).
Storing and/or hiding your rig is difficult in certain situations.
Suspension can be unsafe if the apparatus isn?t installed correctly.
Hooks and brackets may produce a permanent hole in your wall or ceiling.
Everyone will know you?re a freak if they see it.
Each person or group will find their own advantages and disadvantages when they use one of these things, so once again, nothing is perfect.
The key is to look for the right stuff and ignore the wrong stuff. But how are you supposed to do that? I?m glad you asked.
Things to Look for
Picking out the best sex sling isn?t for the faint of heart, nor is it for the impatient. You have to sift through a whole pile of duds to find something worth your while.
However, that search can get cut shorter if you look for a few specific things first. Cut out the middleman and choose something that at least has adjustable straps and cleverly placed padding.
Remember, these products were invented to help people achieve difficult positions during sex but they were also geared toward the bondage community for a long time.
Thus, many of them lack the level of comfort that some people are expecting. There?s little pampering here regardless of what you choose, so just try to find a sling that offers multiple access points if you can.
Furthermore, never settle for less than high-grade materials and durable stitching. I think you know why. Robust hardware is also essential here, as is versatility and appearance.
Nobody wants to be strapped into an ugly apparatus, so look for attractive detailing too. And if all else fails, read some customer reviews to find out what other people think.
Things to Avoid
Here?s the kicker. These things may be a ton of fun but they?re also annoying when you choose the wrong one.
For example, a rigid strap placement can turn an otherwise enjoyable experience into a painful process.
Plus, poor quality materials may irritate your skin, rip easily, or feel more comfortable than is necessary. Keep your eyes peeled for the cheap shit.
Weak stitching can ruin a perfectly good evening as well.
So can limp, thin, or misplaced padding. And since most of us can?t reconstruct our own swings and slings for sexy time, it?s important that our devices come with quality out of the box.
Restrictive play options never pleased anybody, so stay away from badly reviewed items or products that promise a lot but disappoint a lot more.
The Top 5 Best Sex Slings of 2023:
Even with a few suggestions, it can still be tough to find the best slings for sex in this day and age. Not only are there way too many options, but those options are so different that the average bear can?t figure it out.
So, start with these five choices instead of driving yourself up the wall (and not in a good way):
#1. The Purple Reins ? Best Sex Sling Overall
BEST FOR SIMPLE PLEASURES
Rumor has it, this one is so comfy that people have actually fallen asleep in it after orgasm. And while that?s relatively rare, it does speak volumes about the Purple Reins Sex Sling?s quality.
Not only is it lined with vivid purple piping but it?s also equipped with a C-shaped suspension bar for superior positioning. Take your night to insane heights and don?t worry about the angle of your dangle.
This door-stop superhero features tons of extra space for attachments and holds up to 300 pounds of your perversion in a relaxed reclined pose using fully adjustable straps, cushions, and hooks.
Plus, it has cozy ankle and wrist restraints included on the durable nylon cover that makes this thing look more like an indoor hammock than your dirty little secret.
PRO: The lightweight design makes it easier to store and hide under your bed.
CON: It may not be strong enough to support larger body types or rough sex.
#2. The Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Sex Swing
BEST FOR BONDAGE BEGINNERS
If you?re looking for something sturdy yet simple and easy to store, this might be the perfect product for you. The Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Swing isn?t just a contraption to support two bodies in motion.
It?s also an industrial strength sling for sex and it?s made with high-grade steel, durable materials, and fully adjustable straps to help you customize the experience regardless of your size.
Achieve the impossible as you explore a wide range of motion with confidence. Thanks to the reinforced support bar, carabiner clips, and robust chain, even the heaviest of humpers can reach the heights of pleasure.
This bad boy holds up to 330 lbs. and features removeable padding, foot stirrups, and plenty of room for attachments without being big, bulky, or bullshit.
PRO: The simple strap system makes it easier to access hidden areas of the body.
CON: The design may be too simple for people who enjoy complex sexual pleasures.
#3. The DOMINIX Deluxe Fantasy Bondage Swing
BEST FOR BDSM ENTHUSIASTS
This is the mother of all suspended sex products. The DOMINIX Deluxe Fantasy Bondage Swing offers 360-degree exposure while also providing some of the best support in the industry.
Made from the most durable materials on the market, it features padded support straps, multiple stirrups for customized play, and all the padding you need for a comfortable ride regardless of how long the trip takes.
Meanwhile, it can hold a body that weighs up to 330 pounds with its gravity-defying design. You even get a free eye mask for sensory play and there are detachable cuffs that hook to the top of the stabilizer bar for when you want to get acrobatic.
Best of all, it spins all the way around when you secure it to the ceiling and it?s not too hard to store when you get done either.
PRO: It has a plethora of chains and O-rings to inspire hours of perverted experimentation.
CON: The hanging wrist/ankle cuffs can get in the way when you?re not using them.
#4. The Bondage Boutique Soft Over-The-Door Sex Swing
BEST FOR UNSTURDY HOUSES
Not convinced that your favorite sling will safely hang from the ceiling? Tired of the trial and error of using simple sex furniture?
If you answered yes to either of those questions, check out the Bondage Boutique Soft Over-the-Door device. It helps you achieve the ideal spread while standing on your feet, and since it only temporarily attaches to the wall, there aren?t any holes to fix when you get done.
Hang it over your door with no special tools and enjoy the detachable leather wrist and ankle straps that come with it. Each one has an adjustable fastening for even easier tailoring, and the four strong barbells help keep the sub in check while you tighten the reins.
Plus, this option I compatible with most of the brand?s other stuff so you can quickly create a magical mystery ride without much preparation.
PRO: This is one of the easiest sex products to use and store.
CON: Some of the hardware contains nickel which may cause an allergic reaction.
#5. The Whip Smart Pleasure Swing
BEST FOR PETITE PERVERTS
Although it can only hold up to 200 pounds at a time, the Whip Smart Pleasure Swing is still a tough little cookie with tons of sugar on top. It has a padded form for extra comfort and all the straps, stirrups, and special spaces your horny heart can handle.
Just like the full-sized models on my list, this one features adjustable wrist and ankle restraints that are already attached to the main frame.
There?s also some extra support for your trembling thighs and legs, which means you can take a licking and keep on ticking. With a unique eyelet bolt that helps you achieve even the most difficult positions quickly and easily this bad boy offers 360-degree access to your most sensitive body parts.
Plus, its metal/plastic/PVC material makes cleanup and maintenance a breeze.
PRO: It comes preassembled so you don?t have to fuss with a complex setup.
CON: It has an unusually narrow spreader bar, which may not be ideal for certain body types.
To get more detailed information about anything on this list, consult the owner?s manual or reach out to the manufacturer. The retailer who sold it to you might have a few facts as well.
Where To Find The Best Sex Slings On The Market?
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Sex Sling FAQs
Q: How am I supposed to clean a swing for sex when I get done using it?
A: Like other pleasure products, you have to wash your stuff every time you get done. A simple wipe down usually does the trick. Just make sure to use non-abrasive, hypoallergenic cleaning supplies to avoid skin rashes, irritation, and allergic reactions.
Concentrate on the places where your bodies met the material, and don?t forget to wash the wrist and ankle restraints too.
For more detailed information on how to properly clean your stuff, consult the owner?s manual.
TIP: See if your device can be disassembled for easier cleaning and maintenance.
Q: Is there a special way to store my stuff when I take it down?
A: Storing one of these things can be tricky because of the awkward size and shape. Even when the apparatus is removed from its hook, the various bars and straps may be difficult to corral.
Meanwhile, the materials can be weighty and the suspension components are often large or incapable of being disassembled.
So, look for a secret spot in your house ? a closet, under your bed, in the den, etc. Stuff it in there but try to keep everything together in a single container.
Look for special storage on the retailer?s or manufacturer?s website, and as always, look at the owner?s manual to make sure there aren?t any specific instructions.
Q: Can I get hurt in any way?
A: Yes, you can get hurt rather easily when you use a swing or sling for sexual pleasure. That?s especially true if you ignore the manufacturer?s instructions or tamper with the design in any way.
Plus, hanging your device from an inadequate support may also cause an injury. And sitting in a sling that?s not rated for your body weight is dangerous as well.
Check your owner?s manual for specific details on the weight limits and suspension procedure even if you?ve done this a thousand times before. If anyone gets hurt, stop what you?re doing immediately and seek medical attention if it?s needed.
Q: What special skills and/or equipment do I need to use one of these?
A: In most cases, you do not need any special skills or equipment to enjoy these as intended. Most models come with everything you need to start swinging and slinging as soon as you open the box.
However, there may be some minor assembly required on the more complex devices such as the ones that hang from your ceiling. Those models may also need some reinforcements to prevent them from slipping out of the hole.
Read your owner?s manual for more detailed information or contact the manufacturer if you have specific questions.
Q: Am I too heavy to use a sex sling?
A: Most likely, you are not too heavy to sit in a sling made for sex. That?s because the materials with which they?re made are generally durable, so many models are rated for at least a few hundred pounds.
Usually, the straps and restraints are adjustable to provide better range of motion regardless of your size. However, it?s important to read the owner?s manual to determine weight limits before hopping inside. No two models are the same, and it?s not safe to tamper, tinker, or try to push it.
Q: How do I install a sex swing in my house?
A: Each model requires different things to install it in your house, so don?t try to do anything creative until you read the instructions.
Most likely, you?ll need a secure spot on the wall or ceiling, some small tools, and the owner?s manual to get started.
If you have specific questions about the installation process or are unsure whether your chosen spot is safe, read for clues or ask somebody with experience in hanging suspension products.
TiffanyI?m Tiffany. I?m glad you?re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I?ve divided my life over the last five years into little ?chapters? to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.