By Jeanne
It is not easy for everyone to reach orgasm, even if the actors in pornographic films give the impression of it.
No one I've ever known has answered a pizza delivery man's door and ended up getting laid on the back of his sofa.
If this were the world we live in, I'd be unemployed, usually single and known to everyone at the local pizza place. The fact is: We can't all be porn stars.
The sex toys play an important role in your physical, mental and emotional well-being, especially if you don't order takeaway food very often.
Unfortunately for many people, getting laid in a satisfying way is as easy as getting shot in the butt for the first time. All you have to do is go to your favourite place.
After a while without a decent orgasm, people can become a bit grumpy or, worse, settle for a second-rate one-night stand in the hope that their pent-up frustrations will be assuaged.
"Although the wonderful world of sex toys has done its best to cater for everyone, there has always been a gap between fiction and reality."
Nowadays, this gap has narrowed considerably because our world has become much more familiar with things like twerking sex dolls, automatic blowjob machines, VR-enabled masturbators and jet dildos.
Yes, you heard me right, I said "jet dildos".
In fact, there are so many different models on the modern sex toy market that I've had to write this buying guide to help you navigate the rabble. You're welcome to it.
Why use ejaculating dildos?
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According to recent studies, ejaculation can be experienced by the receiving partner during unprotected sex. Research shows that a spurt of ejaculate can create pleasurable sensations that greatly enhance the sexual experience for all concerned.
As if designed to be intrinsically beneficial, a freely ejaculating penis gives instant pleasure to the man and a feeling of warmth and comfort to his partner - a sensation that, until now, could not be matched.
Thanks to the latest technology in sexual satisfaction, we now have dozens of ejaculating dildos to choose from.
Different in size, shape, quality and functionality, these marvels of modern machinery are designed to look, feel and perform as realistically as possible.
Especially when combined with other high-tech products, anyone can now become a shameless pervert without leaving the comfort of their home.
The 7 best ways to know if the squirting dildo is worth it or not
It is said that too much choice leads to confusion and I agree.
Being inundated with dildos may seem like a party, but in reality it's just a pain in the ass.
It's not that we want a unique sex toy, it's just that we're tired of trying to find a needle in this massive and confusing haystack.
When it comes to jet dildos, finding the perfect one can be an extremely expensive headache. Not only are these toys a relatively new concept, but some of their manufacturers have been overzealous in their production.
By that I mean that they have produced dozens of versions that are only slightly different and have made countless savings along the way. So we end up with a market of sex toys flooded with too many variables.
Honestly, I didn't think I would ever say that.
Regardless of all that has changed, one thing has always remained the same: the average person cannot realistically navigate the modern dildo market without ending up feeling overwhelmed.
What people get, instead of a collection of awesome sex toys, is a recipe for dick disaster. To avoid all this clutter and get down to business faster, take a second to go through what I like to call "the qualifying round."
Below are the 6 main things to consider when buying a good ejaculating dildo:
SIZE
If someone tells you that size doesn't matter, punch them in the mouth (just kidding).
Seriously, ignore this crap and pay close attention to the dimensions of your sex toys. This consideration is not just for the sake of your vagina and ass.
Automatically choosing the ugliest and most intimidating dildo (or vice versa) because you think it will generate the most pleasure is a beginner's mistake.
Size is important. And don't just look at the length, but also the circumference.
I would caution you about the importance of pruning for three good reasons:
- Discretion - How difficult do you think it will be to hide or explain a massive fake cock in your bedroom?
- Storage - Where will you store a dildo the size of a Honda Civic?
- Versatility - Who will benefit from this thing? You alone? A partner perhaps?
Make no mistake. An extra-large dildo can be great fun in the right context, but it's not necessarily suitable for everyday use.
Also, the size of a sex toy determines how much lubricant and cleaning solution you need to use, which means that things can quickly become difficult and expensive.
Whatever you decide, make sure that the ejaculating dildo you choose is useful in several applications, otherwise it will be little more than an expensive novelty.
SHAPE
So here's another thing you need to know that few people tell you. The majority of contemporary jet dildos look very much like an erect human penis, but they are not all exactly the same shape.
In fact, some are so curved that they look more like bananas than anything else. I don't know about you, but I'm sure it's not for everyone.
Considering that every cock on the planet is unique, it's no surprise that jet dildos are just as unique.
Product designers are always pushing the boundaries to create sex toys that range from hyper-realistic to ultra-fantastic.
To get something right, you need to determine what you want and sort through your options.
Narrow your field of investigation further by completing this list.
What I'm trying to say is that the shape of a dildo is not always automatically straight and/or smooth. I've even seen a few with textured or wavy stems, so don't fall victim to a lack of due diligence.
The shape of a good ejaculating dildo can be subjective, but it's still important to know what you're getting into (or better yet, what you're getting into).
REALISM
Who wants to masturbate with a dildo that looks nothing like a real human penis?
Well, many people do, which is why you need to pay particular attention to the aesthetic features of the toy you are considering.
Does it have humanistic properties or is it more fanciful? How can you tell the difference? I'm glad you asked the question.
Thus, dildos whose realism is based on fantasy will seem very realistic, but only in terms of the thing they imitate.
In general, the realism of this toy will resemble something hyperdimensional, alien or just plain unusual.
At the moment, there are not many squirting dildos designed in this way, so choosing the best one should be quite easy and we won't talk about those for the moment.
For the average man or woman seeking an authentic experience, the realism of life is the key.
Look for items such as :
- Bullets, especially with wrinkles
- Veins
- Colour accuracy
- Hair/Non-hair
- Crown circumcised/uncircumcised
In other words, the dildo that suits you best has the features you like best, whether it's bushy pubic hair, big balls or alien skin.
VOLUME
If you opt for a squirting dildo, you probably like your loads to be big and responsible, right?
Personally, I can't blame you. I'm the same way, except I make an SD my bitch, so I need massive volume.
In other words, I suggest that you check the amount of liquid that this ejaculating dildo can hold before you buy it.
As with size, shape and realism, the fluid capacities of the ejaculating dildos of this world are not identical. I learned this the hard way, so listen up, kids.
The average ejaculating dildo can hold about 1 to 3 ounces of lubricant (which most manufacturers recommend using as a substitute ejaculate).
Some may contain much more, while others are much more punishing. Keep this in mind when shopping.
Volume is also an important factor to consider if your body reacts to ejaculation in an unusual way.
For example, some people take a few seconds to feel an ejaculation, which means that a low volume toy may not be ideal.
On the other hand, some people are extremely sensitive to it and can therefore reach orgasm as soon as they start ejaculating.
In which category do you fall?
FEATURES
Exploring high technology and user-friendly features is perhaps the most exciting thing about buying contemporary sex toys and modern dildos. I say this because these days we have some pretty amazing things like. :
- Distinctive vibration settings that vary considerably in speed and intensity.
- Bluetooth compatibility and long distance communication between toys.
- Virtual reality capabilities for pre-recorded or live sex experiences.
- SenseMotion technology that allows tandem masturbation in real time.
- Motion detection settings that can either turn the toy on/off or automatically adjust the vibrator functions according to the user's body movements.
To be quite honest, the list of features available to today's sex toy buyer is virtually endless. The key is to be careful and know what you want in advance.
To help you, remember that your ordinary dildo will have the following basic characteristics:
- The Shaft
All dildos have a shaft, and squirting dildos are no exception. The difference is that the shaft of a squirting dildo houses many features that don't exist on your typical sex toy.
Keep in mind that the shaft of any dildo varies slightly from its competitors in terms of flexibility and firmness.
For jet dildos, however, I suggest sticking to the firmer models to avoid the hose getting bent.
- The Canal
Speaking of tubing, since jet dildos are designed to mimic a real ejaculation, a tube (or channel) is mandatory. The quality and durability of this mandatory tube is also of paramount importance.
So look for a toy with a channel made of hard plastic, TPE or another type of polycarbonate. Not only are these materials easier to clean, they are also less likely to crack and warp.
- The lubricant tank
The dildo channel is useless if it doesn't have a supply of lubricant to draw from. That said, the reservoir of the toy is where the "volume" I mentioned above comes into play. Check the specs beforehand and make sure your preferred choice has enough room for a good ejaculation.
Also make sure it is easy to clean, because yuck!
- The opening for ejaculation
Tank and channel together, that ejaculate has to go somewhere. That's why the quality of the opening on top is crucial if you want a smooth journey.
Think about it: If the opening is still partially closed after a manufacturing defect, or if it is simply not large enough, the channel may become blocked more easily.
If this happens, you risk damaging your toy or exposing yourself to dangerous bacteria.
MATERIALS
The "trial and error" strategy is perfectly fine for many things, but that is not the case here. The materials your dildo is made from matter more than anything else I've outlined so far.
Why, then, is it not at the top of my list?
Because you won't understand its importance if you haven't thought about the other elements first.
You see, most jet dildos are made from several different materials because of the various components used - one for the shaft lining, another for the tube, yet another for the lubricant reservoir, etc.
At any given time, the most sensitive parts of your body can be hammered by a variety of chemicals and allergens. At any given time, the most sensitive parts of your body can be exposed to a variety of chemicals and allergens. And this is not just the case with dildos, but with all manufactured/synthetic products available on the market.
Moral of the story: Know your body and pay attention to the ingredients in your cock. I'm pretty sure that no dildo ejector manufacturer in the history of dildo ejector manufacturers has admitted liability because of a customer's unintended allergic reaction to their product's materials. Just saying.
If you are one of those people who have very sensitive skin, always choose materials that are safe for the skin, such as medical grade silicone, metal or glass.
Try to avoid latex if you can, and never buy anything with phthalates in it, as it is simply an unpleasant chemical that has nothing to do with allergies.
FACT: Phthalates are banned in several countries, so most sex toy manufacturers list their inclusion or exclusion on the product label.
MANUFACTURER
While most of us want to believe that a brand becomes popular because it continually produces high quality products, that's not how it works at all.
Both market relevance and coveted best seller status are subject to good publicity and exposure.
Nowadays, it seems to be more a question of mind than of common sense.
My observation is only an independent opinion, of course. This is not to say that some of these large manufacturers have not earned their reputation through hard work and determination.
I am simply saying that choose your first or his next inflatable dildo solely on the basis of the brand is a big mistake.
My best squirting dildos in 2023:
Amongst the myriad of great (and not so great) ejaculation dildos, I have come across a few that will forever be etched in my memory.
I will list them below, but before I do so, let's remember that no product on the market today is perfect and none of them are ideal for everyone.
#1 The King Cock with Balls - Best Dildo Squirting in the World
BEST ENSEMBLE
Impressive in its realism and bold in its size, the King Cock is definitely a force to be reckoned with. This 7.5 inch splashy surprise has a tapered head that is ideal for beginners and experts alike.
Lightweight and portable, it contains an exceptional amount of semen and allows you to keep your money.
PRO: Its realism is top notch.
CON: Its use can be extremely messy.
#2 The Doc Johnson Bust It Ejaculator Dildo
THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST
Extra thick for a substantial feel, the Doc Johnson Bust It has an overall length of just over 8.5 inches, making it the ideal choice for those who enjoy stretching and scuba diving.
With all the realism you'd expect from Doc Johnson, this bad boy features embossed veins, a large capacity sperm dispenser and is fully waterproof.
PRO: Realistic but still suitable for a fantasy.
CON: Can be painful for beginners.
#3 Dildo squirting POP by Semenette
THE EASIEST TO USE
This is the famous cum dildo that turns into a belt dildo. Feature-rich, lightweight and realistic, the Semenette POP offers an impressive 7 inches of easy-to-clean length.
With ultra-realistic aesthetics and ergonomics, this exciting hero is perfect for people of all backgrounds and experience levels.
PRO: This is one of the most versatile cum dildos on the market today.
CON: It can be difficult to determine which type of artificial sperm to use, as the manufacturer does not offer any suggestions.
Although the Three Kings are most likely enough to satisfy even the most difficult of people, the sex toy industry has never been one of moderation.
When a good thing is discovered, it is created ad nauseum until consumers get tired of it and demand something new.
Fortunately, we're not there yet, so there's still time for you to jump on the bandwagon before that squirting dildo becomes old news (yeah, right).
If, like me, you prefer to do some in-depth research before swapping Benjamins, check out my Runners Up list below for some other "scholarly" inspired pieces:
#4 The Classic Lifelike Lover Dildo that ejaculates.
MOST STRETCHED
This exceptionally simple specimen has a lot in common with a famous porn star: It has a circumference of 15 cm, a length of 15 cm and it can cum on command.
With extra luxurious balls and a series of raised veins running down the thick stem from the bulbous head, the Lifelike Lover Classic Waterproof is a wonder in bed or in the shower.
#5 The Big Shot by Evolved Novelties Ejaculating Dildo
THE MOST HIGH-TECH
Made of skin-friendly silicone with a powerful vibrating motor With 10 distinct speed and intensity settings, this high-tech hero is smaller than the other dildos on this list.
It measures 15cm with a modest width of just over 1.5cm. Ideal for newcomers and occasional masturbators, it also has an automatic jizz button powered by a USB rechargeable battery.
#6 The Squirtz CyberSkin
THE MOST LIFELIKE
Simple yet incredibly realistic, the Squirtz Cyberskin is made with materials that give the illusion of real skin-to-skin contact. With a domed crown and soft, supple balls, this beautiful work of art is not only realistic, it feels realistic.
It has a 6.5 inch length to take advantage of, plus a large capacity reservoir in the balls for quick and easy shooting.
#7 The Loadz Double Density 9 inch
HOTTER
This 9-inch long mega-monster is definitely not for beginners and lightweights. With just over two inches of girth and a highly detailed exterior, the Loadz Dual Density 9-Inch is just soft enough to move like a real penis, but firm enough to hit the sweet spot every time.
Lacking extra features such as vibrators and automatic jizzers, it remains a popular option for those who have already experienced it.
Where to find the best ejaculating dildos online:
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The end of the game
In the end, it's not about the size, shape or high-tech features of a sex toy. What matters most is that all of these elements come together to give you and your lover a pleasurable and satisfying experience.
If you need a six-inch dildo with half a dozen vibrating features and a huge cum tank, then so be it. You do what you want. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
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