By Jeanne
Because sometimes it's what you don't say that has the most impact.
Being a professional pervert and sex toy reviewer makes me one of the most outspoken people you will (not) ever meet. It has created in me a personality that forces me to tell it like it is, usually without regard to the feelings of those involved. It has been the catalyst for countless restaurant debacles, family feuds and work mishaps. I was even fired from a Chuck-E-Cheese, but that's a story for another time. All that being said, I still know how to keep my mouth shut when the time is right. After all, I learned long ago that well-placed silence can speak volumes.
I'll be the first to admit that I talk a lot more than I should. In fact, there are situations that would have been much better if I had just kept my mouth shut. But even when I'm dropping truth bombs and changing the world with my words, it's still nice to have someone else speak for me from time to time. And it's that kind of shift in power dynamics that makes BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) so much fun for me and millions of other people around the world. It's also the main reason why I own a surprising number of gags and props.
As a person who regularly dominates his or her partner with a whole series of sex toys and humiliation tools, choosing the best products weighs heavily on my ability to convince a submissive that I am in charge. However, knowing the components of a good ball gag has always eluded me... until recently. After being subjected to my own medicine by an overzealous submissive, I quickly discovered why so many of my sexual partners had complained about my fervent gag use. So now I have a unique perspective on what a well-made gag should contain. And as with all things related to the care of a submissive partner, choosing the perfect gag requires great care.
Honestly, I wish they'd change the name "ball gags" to something a little more innocuous, because a well-fitting gag won't make you yawn at all (unless you want to). And that brings me to the next point: Knowing ahead of time what you and/or your partner want and need is the best way to find what you're looking for (whatever that is). To get the best gag, it is therefore necessary to know in advance the following 5 points:
- Your skin type and/or that of your partner
You should know that no two products are the same on the modern market, and ball gags are no exception. The materials it is made of strongly influence how you can use it. Make sure that neither you nor your partner(s) have any sensitivity or allergy to the materials.
- Your and/or your partner's gag reflex
Si vous ne connaissez pas les tolérances du bâillon impliquées dans la petite sauterie sexuelle que vous préparez, les choses peuvent vite dégénérer. Tous les jeux de bâillon ne sont pas faits pour l’humiliation et/ou la douleur, ce qui signifie que certaines personnes préfèrent ne pas baver ou avoir des haut-le-coeur lorsqu’elles en portent un. Savez-vous jusqu’à quel point vous pouvez être extravagant lors de votre virée shopping ou vous contentez-vous de deviner ? Je ne suggère pas cette dernière option.
- Your and/or your partner's mouth size
Mouth size is also important here, especially if you are working with gagging beginners. Measure the wearer's mouth by asking them to open their mouth wide and say "Ah". As a general rule, the ball of any gag you choose should fit snugly around the wearer's grill without being too tight to remove when the games change.
- Your and/or your partner's head size
This consideration is especially important when purchasing a gag harness, but it is also crucial when purchasing conventional gags. Most gags have adjustable straps that fit around the wearer's head, but it is equally critical to consider how these straps fit. Depending on the relative size of the heads involved, will you need a belt-like strap, something stretchy, or a simple Velcro?
- Your and/or your partner's goals
When it comes to BDSM and gag use, having a few pre-set goals is always a good idea for everyone involved. In other words, buying a gag is practically useless if you don't consider what everyone wants, mainly because it makes you a selfish asshole, but also because there are several things in play that will determine how much pleasure you get out of the device. Be smart and make the most of your money.
What is a BDSM/Bondage gag?
Used to hold your lover's mouth open during BDSM and other sensual role play, good ball gags are an important part of a healthy sex life and an absolutely essential part during consensual domination games. The balls come in a variety of sizes (and are sometimes interchangeable) and are usually made of a skin-safe material such as plastic, rubber or silicone. They are attached to an adjustable harness that attaches to the back of the wearer's head, which not only keeps the gag in place, but also prevents it from slipping down the throat and becoming lodged there.
Of course, true gag enthusiasts understand the risks associated with using these items and consider the five most important safety rules, which are:
- Have a safety signal - Since your partner will not be able to communicate with words, it is important to have a safety plan in advance. This plan doesn't have to be complicated. A simple tap of the hand or foot can signal your partner to stop, slow down, loosen or remove the gag.
- Agree on ground rules ahead of time - Everyone needs to agree on the procedure before placing a gag in someone's mouth. Make sure all parties know what they are getting into, and it's okay to try the gag a time or two before going through with it.
- Never remove the straps - No matter how uncomfortable the situation becomes, never remove the straps under any circumstances. Simply remove the entire gag from your partner's head and continue your evening. Removing the strap can be deadly and trust me, you don't want to find out the hard way.
- Wash it after each use - Because these balls are going to be lodged in someone's mouth, it's important to keep them clean and debris-free at all times. After each use, thoroughly clean your gag in warm water with a mild, antibacterial soap before letting it air dry at room temperature. Store it in a safe place when you're done to prevent damage and dust build-up.
- Don't experiment until you're ready - It can be tempting to start getting creative with your new gag because it inspires so much passion, but it's crucial to keep your wits about you at all times. Always use the gag as instructed and never experiment with your limits until you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing. And if experimenting causes you to break any of these five safety rules, it's probably not worth it.
Defining a gag is only half the battle. Having a healthy respect for safe and satisfying sex is the other side of the coin. So why bother using something that has its own 5-point safety checklist? I thought you'd never ask.
Why use gags for bondage?
There are literally millions of sex toys on the market today, but if you haven't dabbled in the wonderful world of BDSM, you are really missing out. One of the most commonly used products in the BDSM arena is the gag. And if this sex toy relatively harmless is designed to do little damage to your body, it is designed to impose massive damage to your partner's will.
Like a roller coaster, wearing a gag offers a safe and secure level of uncertainty that can be harnessed into sexual energy. And like a roller coaster, modern gags are not like the models of yesteryear. Still used primarily in domination/submission games, contemporary gags are made with much more love, care and respect from the market and the manufacturer. No longer considered taboo, ball gags are making a surprisingly strong comeback for a sex toy designed to shut you up.
The person wearing the gag loses their ability to speak, making this type of product an essential tool for full body restraint and total control of a submissive. It automatically sends a clear signal about who is in charge and who is not, while making an undeniable statement about one's propensity for fabulous fetish living. Ball gags allow for a unique exchange of power, one that elicits deep passions on both sides of the adjustable and (hopefully) immovable strap. And since the mouth also plays an important role in many sexual acts, limiting the wearer's ability to behave impulsively can change the dynamic and enhance the feelings of pleasure and/or release (when finally allowed, of course).
After a while, the right gag can even cause humiliation by making the wearer drool uncontrollably. The helpless position your partner (the submissive) is in while wearing a gag strongly reinforces your dominance as the master. It can also trigger the excitement of pain, creating a mutually beneficial sex act that appeals to ordinary lovers and fetishists alike. I would also like to add that seeing my lover in a tightly fitting gag is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen. If you've never seen your lover look like a helpless snack, you are seriously deprived.
Top 5 ways to know if that gag is worth it or not
It's not easy to be sleazy, and it's also not simple to find the perfect gag without ever having tried it. The struggle is real, which is why you should research or consider the following 5 things before spending money:
- The size
Ball gags come in a wide variety of sizes, including extra-small and extra-large models. The size of each ball is indicated by its "circumference" or "diameter" and the strap dimensions are listed in centimeters or inches. Since many modern gags have an adjustable strap, most people think of them as one size fits all. However, this is not always the case. To choose the right size gag, consider the dimensions of your and/or your partner's mouth. Adjustable straps aside, will you be able to fit the ball between the wearer's lips? Keep in mind that a properly sized gag will be somewhat difficult to put on or take off and the strap is only to hold the ball in place.
- The shape
I say the word "ball" and you immediately picture a round object, right? Well, as logical as that sounds, you should know that today's best ball gags are not always round. Good ball gags come in a wide variety of shapes, from full lips and hearts to stars and pussies. There are even gags that have a hole in the middle for your partner to fuck while you wear it - making this device a BDSM tool and unisex pleasure enhancer. Plus, ultra-specialized gags can even come with hooks and/or loops to help you tie your partner up in creative and kinky ways. Look for a gag shape that matches your or your partner's body, or that can move and change depending on the mood of the moment.
- The materials
Since all ball gags are designed to go into someone's mouth, it is important to look carefully at the materials they are made from. Remember that the ball and the strap will most likely be made from two separate materials, and many manufacturers only list the ingredients of the ball in the product description. To get the most out of your selection, choose a ball gag made from a soft, non-porous material that is safe for the skin, such as silicone, TPE, PVC, glass, metal or some type of polycarbonate or elastomer. And as always, avoid anything containing latex, phthalates or parabens and only use compatible lubricants.
- The straps
Finding good straps for a gag is not always easy. You don't want something that is too stiff to move, but you also don't want something that comes off every time there is a little pressure. Balance is key here, but so are things like material and hardware. If your new ball gag has straps that are held together by poor quality clasps or hooks, the whole device will be rendered useless (especially if you buy a sling). On the other hand, if you buy a gag that is too tightly fastened, you may not be able to remove it easily when needed. Look for polished metal clasps, Velcro or snaps for better results.
- Security
Pour pouvoir profiter de n’importe quel bâillon boule, il faut comprendre comment les utiliser en toute sécurité, mais rien de tout cela n’a d’importance si le dispositif lui-même est mal construit. Les raccords lâches et les mauvaises coutures peuvent être très dangereux, sans compter qu’ils sont gênants et moches. Et lorsqu’il s’agit de faire de quelqu’un votre esclave sexuel, il est important qu’il sache qu’il peut vous faire confiance. Un bâillon mal fait est un bâillon dangereux, et personne ne fait confiance à quelqu’un qui utilise des trucs dangereux. On ne peut pas contester cette logique.
THE BEST IN THE SET: The Strict headgear and gag.
The Strict harness and gag set is like no other - an all-inclusive, sexy and stylish set that is easy to use and comfortable to wear during marathon sessions. Perfect for domination and submission games, the sturdy leatherette harness keeps you in control while the soft polyurethane ball keeps the subordinate quiet and in his place. It features a series of secure, studded straps that are held in place by polished, industrial-grade metal clasps. The head strap adjusts up to 23 inches, while the chin strap can go up to 7.5 inches and there's even a hard shell headband attached. The ball itself measures 1.65 inches in circumference and the whole thing can be easily cleaned with a simple soap and water bath.
Pro: Harnesses are a great tool for slime and this one is no exception.
Cons: It may not fit all head sizes and cannot be used with certain types of personal lubricants.
THE BEST FOR BEGINNERS: The Tantus Beginner Ball Gag
Just because you're a gag beginner doesn't mean you can't appreciate style, sophistication and artistry. The Tantus Beginner Ball Gag is exactly what you need for those with a dirty mind but refined tastes. Handcrafted and hand-cast, each device uses 100 % of premium silicone to create a sex toy that is tasteless and odorless, eco-friendly, hypoallergenic and even dishwasher safe. Functioning as a partial harness, the Tantus features adjustable leather straps with Velcro closures and a uniquely shaped ball that measures 1.6 inches in diameter and 2 inches in overall length. Each gag is also individually made, which means yours will look nothing like anyone else's. Talk about exclusive.
Pro: Like an adult pacifier, this whimsical object soothes while "sexifying" almost any BDSM encounter.
Cons: It may not be big or intimidating enough for some users, especially if you're looking to excite pain.
BEST FOR HUMILIATION: Scott Paul Designs "Service Kit" humiliating gag.
While not necessarily a "ball" gag, SPD's Humiliator Gag Service Kit is still a finely crafted force to be reckoned with during any BDSM activity. Not only is it made from some of the best materials on the market (anodized aluminum, leather, and stainless steel), but it's also adjustable to fit the biggest heads among us (up to 21 inches in circumference, in fact). The overall design of this bad boy may not be lockable, but it's compatible with a long list of humiliating accessories, including a serving tray, toilet brush and feather duster. Elegant and refined, it can be worn for long periods of time and is made by a company known for its high quality craftsmanship and artistic take on all things BDSM.
Pros: This is the most versatile and humiliating gag on the market.
Cons: This gag uses a wick instead of a bullet, which means it's not ideal for people who are adamant about having bullets in their mouth.
The final game
Choosing the right gag is not always easy, especially when you are the one attaching it to someone else's head. Teamwork is the key to success, as is an understanding and appreciation of the safety of sex toys and BDSM etiquette. What's also important is that all the features of your new gag work together perfectly to provide you and/or your partner with a safe and satisfying (hopefully more than once) sexual experience. If it's a 3-inch silicone gag with an adjustable leather strap and a pussy ball, so be it. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And with the right gag in your face, you couldn't do it even if you wanted to.
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