Because what goes up must come down (and then up again).
There I was, in the middle of a dirty orgy between me and six other people, when suddenly I felt something round and smooth touch my asshole.
Having preciously given everyone at the party permission to do with my body as they pleased, the sensation I felt at that moment was not at all unpleasant or unwelcome. In fact, it was that day that changed my sex life forever.
For a while after that moment, it was almost impossible for me to reach orgasm without focusing on my slit. So what happened to me that day and why is my crotch so traumatized? I'm about to let the cat out of the bag.
You see, that was the day I had my first experience with anal beads. Not only had I never heard of this type of sex toybut I had never had the pleasure of trying one with one of my partners.
Not knowing if this was due to a general lack of knowledge about the product or a social stigma that prevented many of my lovers from engaging in anal play, I decided to educate myself on the subject.
In other words, I became obsessed with anal beads and started asking myself, "What else did I miss?". It turned out that I had missed a lot more than I thought.
Assuming that the best anal toys consisted solely of dildos, vibrators and/or prostate massagers, I honestly had no idea (until that moment) that there was an entire market of anal beads just waiting for my anus' attention.
Naively thinking that the orgy toy was a festive fluke that would forever remain in the recesses of my memory, I got a sexual shock when I discovered how wrong I was.
Literally, my first online shopping expedition made me feel like a kid in candy land. I sat at my computer thinking, "You mean I can recreate the feel of the orgy without having to call the hairy-backed gorilla who introduced me to it?".
And just like that, I felt like my life was finally taking shape.
However, after witnessing firsthand the huge variety of items my lover had to sort through to bring this toy to the party, I not only developed a greater respect for him, but I also gained a better understanding of what anal beads are, how they work, and how to choose the best ones.
For example, did you know that there are at least 5 different things you and/or your partner need to know before you even buy anal beads? I'll list them (and the reasons why) now:
- Your skin type(s) - The type of skin you have will play an important role in the types of anal beads you can play with. Check for any skin sensitivities and/or allergies to err on the side of caution. If someone has an aversion to a certain material, things could get nasty fast.
- Your tolerance level(s) - Today's best anal beads come in a huge variety of shapes and sizes, and many are designed just for prostate pros. Before you spend any money, know what you and/or your partner can handle by doing a finger test or using another type of sex toy to determine tolerance.
- Your intentions - If you know your intentions, you and/or your partner can choose the most effective anal beads in your bedroom. However, not having a clue about these things can quickly lead you both astray. Keep in mind that the manufacturers of sex toys spend a lot of money to get your attention through clever marketing. Don't fall for it, because they know you better than you know yourself.
- Your expectations - There is no such thing as a universal anal bead wire, so what do you expect from yours? The good thing about this purchase is that it's highly customizable based on your body type, skin type and sexual appetite (but only if you're honest about your expectations).
- Your resource(s) - Knowing how much money you can spend on a new set of anal beads is also important, as the price varies greatly from one model to another. Also, use this time to check your lubricant inventory and make sure you have something that is compatible with anal sex and anal sex toys.
Once you understand all of these things, you will officially be more prepared to use anal beads than I was when I went to my first orgy back in the day. I learned the hard way how important it is to be prepared.
Yet there is nothing like receiving a pleasant surprise that instantly changes your life. The thing is, I can't promise you that your first experience will be the same. It's probably best to do things this way, right?
But all this homework and preparation sounds ridiculous if you don't even know what I'm talking about. So what are anal beads and what's all the fuss about? Let me explain, grasshopper.
What are anal beads?
Table of contents
- What are anal beads?
- Why use anal beads?
- The Top # ways to know if those anal beads are worth it or not
- My Top3 best anal gems in 2021:
- THE BEST IN THE SET: The Fun Factory Bendy Beads
- THE BEST FOR BEGINNERS: The Fun Factory Flexi Felix
- THE BEST FOR COUPLES: The B-Vibe Triplet
- The end of the game
A single glance is all it takes to see the differences between anal beads and all other sex toys available on the market today, including all buttock play devices currently available.
Unlike anything you've ever seen (unless you've seen a bunch of anal beads), anal beads are a unique type of marital aid that stimulate the nerve endings and glans in the anal canal.
The overall design of these toys is perhaps the most unique feature, although their functionality is also relatively innovative. Replacing dangerous objects that could become lodged in the anus, anal beads are specifically designed to demonstrate the successful marriage between safety and sexuality.
Too bad Richard Gere and that poor little gerbil didn't get the memo in time, right?
Joking aside, anal beads are simply a type of sex toy made up of several spheres, or "beads", of similar or wavy size, tied together by a string of varying length.
The beads are then inserted into the anal canal and withdrawn at the user's preferred speed, creating a pleasant sensation as the ball passes through the tight sphincter of the anus.
My lover compares anal beads to the pull cords on a lawn mower, if that helps anyone visualize what I'm talking about here. Anyway, anal beads are often used as an alternative to anal sex, and the best ones can replace prostate massagers, dildos, vibrators, fingers, tongues and everything in between.
Why use anal beads?
It is important for you and/or your lover to understand the value and purpose of anal beads in order to find the strand that works best. Knowing the potential of any product is a key element to getting the most out of it.
After all, would you use this new iPhone without playing with its features and settings? I didn't think so. When it comes to using your sex toys, especially those that involve anal play, it's essential to get a college-level education on how they work and why they deserve your attention.
Otherwise, you may end up with something that doesn't suit you at all.
Understand that while anal beads are not a sex toy designed for every sexually active soul on the planet, they are good for several things. Below are the top five:
- Anal beads safely stimulate the anus - Don't just use what's lying around the house to make a fellatio decent to someone.
- They offer a wide variety of sensations - it's like having several anal sex toys in one.
- They never need batteries or charging - the only thing that will need a break is you.
- Anal beads are super easy to clean and maintain - Get dirty while staying clean with one of the world's easiest sex toys.
- You can wear high quality anal beads for hours - BDSM got 4,000 degrees hotter when anal beads were invented.
Can I just add that anal beads are great to use during normal sex too? Imagine straddling a dick and having 2 or 3 silky soft balls in your ass, those balls massaging your p-spot and sending a wave of pleasure throughout your body with each thrust.
The best thing about high quality anal beads is that they are absolutely compatible with other sex toys, not to mention their impressive versatility in the bedroom.
As one of my all-time favorite sex toys, anal beads make it easy for me to get excited (in more ways than one).
The Top # ways to know if those anal beads are worth it or not
Choosing a set of anal beads isn't always easy, but that doesn't mean it has to be a pain in the ass. It also doesn't mean you have to sit here and put up with my corny double entendre, but still.
The modern market is flooded with tempting options that would make any anal bead beginner gush in his pants. The point is, I'm trying to make you better than them at it. To do that, you'll need some tips from someone who's been there. Hi, I'm that someone.
Here are the top 5 things you can look at to immediately determine if the anal beads in your cart are worth your money or not:
- Summarize the size
When it comes to things you're considering shoving up your ass, it's extremely important to check the dimensions. Anal beads come in a wide variety of sizes, ranging from tiny and ticklish to large and responsible.
You may also come across designs with wavy spheres that start out very small and end up downright huge.
Not only do these types of spheres make it easier for users to customize their experience, but they also help the administrator maintain a firm grip on the string when things get hot and heavy.
Whatever size (or variation thereof) you choose, it is essential that you select something that fits comfortably in the user's anus for the duration of the game.
- Look at the shape
Granted, 99.9% of the modern world's anal beads are shaped like a sphere. However, there is always an exception to the rule. For example, did you know that there are anal beads that are oval or ovoid in shape?
In addition, some have special textures designed to maximize stimulation and pleasure. However, some models are not suitable for certain body types, and some textures can even be painful if the beads are inserted and removed too often.
Take the time to consider the shape of the anal beads you are considering and look for a shape that suits your body type, intentions and expectations.
- Look at the length
Length is incredibly important when it comes to anal beads, especially if you're the kind of person who likes to insert and remove beads at high speed.
The longer lengths allow you to change the veracity with which you remove the wire, giving you and/or your partner more control over the situation without causing pain or injury.
The longer lengths also prevent slippage and provide a more secure grip for the handler (even if his hands and ass are covered in lubricant). On the other hand, long anal beads can be difficult to handle and bend, unless they are made of an incredibly soft material.
In addition, some spheres cannot even be used during sex due to the size of the wearer's anal cavity, and using the other end would require the handler to wear rubber gloves, stop and wash, or simply take a cut for the team. Can you see why this is an important factor?
- Attention to materials
Materials are important, and your high school science teacher isn't the only one who thinks so. Also, the human anal cavity is a very delicate place, filled with nerve endings, glands, blood vessels, and, unfortunately, bacteria.
To get the most bang for your buck, make sure you choose body-safe material. Some unscrupulous manufacturers still use substances such as latex, parabens and phthalates, although they are quite rare in today's safety-conscious sex toy industry.
In any case, focus on materials that suit your and/or your partner's skin type, not to mention your chosen lubricant and/or complementary sex toys. TIP: Choose the safest materials in the industry, such as silicone, PVC, TPE, polycarbonate, elastomer, glass or metal.
- Think about the texture
It's important to know that not all anal beads are made from super-smooth materials devoid of any texturing. In fact, some people prefer their spheres to have a bit of turbulence.
And while this is usually reserved for the analogue pros, newcomers can jump on the bandwagon too if they know what to look for.
Start with smooth spheres and work your way up for better results, or start with textured anal beads, but use them sparingly to avoid any anal injury, pain or desensitization. And no matter what you and/or your lover get into, always make sure to use plenty of anal lube to avoid a terrible situation.
My Top3 best anal gems in 2021:
Even with the guidelines I just gave you, I know it's still difficult to choose the perfect string of anal beads. What goes up must come down, so selection is imperative at this point.
Fortunately, I have no intention of abandoning you now. So, of all the anal gems in the world (considering that at this point I've probably tried them all), the following three are my favorites.
THE BEST IN THE SET: The Fun Factory Bendy Beads
This fantastic string of anal beads is the world's best example of elegance, flexibility and affordability - with the dexterity of an Olympic gymnast and the perfect size for almost any ass on the planet.
The Bendy Beads are first of all made of medical grade silicone. Their elliptical shape has soft ridges that become more and more intense.
The smallest bead measures 0.6 inches, while the largest measures 1.5 inches. The fully waterproof set offers a total insertion length of 7 inches and its maximum width is 1.5 inches, giving the master more control over play time and even offering a convenient finger loop.
Pro: These items come free of charge from the manufacturer with a generous size packet of water-based anal lubricant.
Cons: You don't have anything to put the toy away when you're done, which can be a problem considering discretion wasn't discussed during the design process of this toy.
THE BEST FOR BEGINNERS: The Fun Factory Flexi Felix
Cute but brave, the Flexi Felix from Fun Factory is designed to explore the depths of your anal cavity like a spelunker in a deep, dark cave. On the other hand, it's made to do so gently thanks to its silky soft silicone body and whimsical yet functional shape.
This bad boy is a beginner's wet dream when it comes to butt play. It comes in two colors (black and pink) and features a 12.6-inch build quality.
There are no seams, the beads are graduated for better control and customization, and this kinky kitty has a set of eyes that serve as finger loops for safe and satisfying removal. It's extremely flexible and easy to clean, not to mention it's made by one of the most trusted sex toy manufacturers on the planet.
Pros: It is pleasant and flexible for locating the P-spot on male and female bodies.
Cons: It may not be stiff enough for people who have played a lot with their buttocks or need intense pressure on their p-spot.
THE BEST FOR COUPLES: The B-Vibe Triplet
Loved for its beginner-friendly construction and expert-like features, this sturdy anal bead necklace has more than just a bulbous, silk-smooth exterior.
It has three extremely flexible beads that conduct vibrations from two motors built into the interior. The shaft is tapered for easy insertion and the whole thing is covered with skin-safe silicone.
Best of all, this couples sex toy is controlled by a wired remote that works from up to 30 feet away for the most exciting hands-free fun, and it has a rechargeable battery that never seems to go away.
Pros: It offers remote spontaneity for sexually adventurous couples.
Cons: It's a bit expensive compared to most other anal vibrating beads.
The final game
Whether it's choosing a new car, your next home, a pair of shoes or an anal bead necklace, being a consumer isn't always as glamorous as marketers try to make it seem.
It is often extremely difficult to choose the perfect product, and it doesn't help that there are about a million options.
However, when it comes to anal beads, the most important thing is that all the features are there to provide you and/or your partner with a safe and satisfying sexual experience (hopefully more than once). If that means a 12-inch string of undulating silicone spheres, so be it.
Your asshole has had amazing taste so far. Why not let him be the judge?
Tiffany. I'm Tiffany. I'm glad you're here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content is about the men (and women) in my life. I've broken down my life over the past five years into small "chapters" to help you catch up on the story and characters involved.